Dear Mr. President:
I haven't written you in a while because I wrote you off at a lost cause. There's is only so much nation-building anyone president can do before it turns my stomach, and you turn my stomach more than any president since LBJ. I didn't like Reagan, but at least he didn't pretend to be anything other than what he is. You're a warmonger in liberal clothing, someone who not-so-secretly undermines enemy nations in order to pretend like you're spreading democracy, when you're really stealing oil. Now you're concerned about Iran's nuclear project -- and with good reason. Iran wants the status as a world power so it can push other nations around like the US, Britian and France do -- take Libya as an example. But if you were so interested in keeping the middle east nuclear free, why aren't asking Israel to disarm its nuclear weapons? I understand that Israel is scared of its neighbors, but do you really believe they will be any safer with nuclear capasity -- when they already have more than enough conventional weapons? You clearly are setting a double standard, because if Israel is attacked, it will use the nuclear weapons at some point. And regardless of what you say or do, there will be more attacks on Israel. So it will be okay for Israel to deploy such weapons, and not expect their enemies to want to be in the nuclear club. Of course, if Israel had oil, you might be singing a different tune -- might even want to invade it, eh? By the way, you're having dinner with a friend of mine on March 20. Don't poison his food because he knows me. He actually likes you, a sin I forgive him for.